Worthless Millionaires
by zoroark65
Summary: Oshawott, Snivy, and Tepig have just won the lottery and have started brand-new lives as successful millionaires- worthless ones.
1. Chapter 1

Oshawott was doing his regular morning errands at the grocery store a regular Friday morning. The town of Pokeville was rushing and bustling as always, and its Pokémon citizens were, as always, rushing and running to get to work on time or do whatever they were forced to every single day until they worked their way out of it. Like always, Oshawott spent a few dollars on a lottery ticket on his way out. And, once again, he promised his two best friends that if he were to win, they would split the money. Wherever they were, they also bought lottery tickets themselves, in low hopes of winning.

Tepig, stuck in traffic a few miles away, was holding his ticket in his hand, hoping he would be able to escape the stressful life he had. For twenty minutes he stayed frozen in his car, and began to read a magazine and chew some gum, as was his laidback nature.

Snivy, meanwhile, was already in his office building, typing at his computer in his cubicle. "Stupid boss, stupid workplace, stupid salary…" He grumbled to himself, as he did all the time. "Stupid coworkers, stupid rut, stupid dead-end job, stupid life…" He thought to himself about how he was way too good for the office cubicle and too good for his coworkers and boss. He stared with longing at a lottery ticket he had purchased from a machine earlier. He hoped that at least one of his friends would win one of these days so they could all get away from their mediocre lives… of course, he would get the biggest mansion.

Oshawott was driving to his office building, keeping his window open and peering out of it, as he always did. As he saw female Pokemon pass on foot down the sidewalk, he stared lustfully at them, like he always did. As an Unfezant that looked to be about his age passed by, he began to drool over her and stared at her… chest. His eyes pupils soon turned to hearts, but his moment of perverted bliss was interrupted by a loud honk.

A Krookodile was inside the vehicle behind him. "Hey, perv! Move it already!"

Oshawott muttered a profanity and pressed on. After another fifteen minutes, he reached his office building and stepped in, being greeted by nothing but his morning mug of coffee and a few memos he had left for himself. As he did every freaking weekday of his life, he pulled up the e-news he had sent to his e-mail account. "Let's see now…" He muttered. "Justin Bidoof's girlfriend is pregnant; Barboach Obama is still ruining our country; Charlie Shedinja is still on drugs… what else is new?" He suddenly saw something that caught his interest. "The prize for winning the lottery… one gazillion dollars? I guess Barboach Obama hasn't completely ruined us yet." He looked to his lottery ticket. He smirked. Of course, he did not think he was going to win, but still, there was some hope.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted when his biggest crush of all, Lilligant, passed by his cubicle. "Hi, Oshawott." She murmured, obviously still half-asleep.

Oshawott's tail suddenly arose. "Hey, Lilligant. You look… nice today."

Lilligant nodded. "You too, dude." She walked on to her office space.

Oshawott blushed immediately after she left. He then went into one of his signature love-induced trances and completely zoned out from work.

He was taken up by Snivy's cocky voice. "Come on, lover boy. It's time for our lunch break, AKA our only relaxing time of the day."

"…It's lunch already?" Oshawott doubted, scoffing.

"You've been in that trance for five straight hours, you idiot." Snivy scoffed back. "Come on, we should get there before Tepig gulps up the last of the food."

Oshawott chuckled and shook his head. "The only time I've ever seen that guy run was when it was time for lunch…"

Tepig was indeed already in the lunchroom, snacking on a tray that even ten men could not finish.

Snivy and Oshawott sat down beside him, with their relatively puny trays.

Snivy rolled his eyes. "No wonder you're so freaking fat. You eat a mammoth lunch every single day."

Tepig shrugged. "It doesn't matter what other people think, man. As long as I like myself and my life, I'm okay." He laid back and let out a loud belch.

Oshawott shrugged. "Good luck attracting a girlfriend, dude."

Snivy smirked. "Speaking of girlfriends…" He pointed to Lilligant, who was sitting with a few of her other friends.

She looked up and waved back at Snivy.

Snivy chuckled. "Hey there, sexy."

Oshawott gasped and slapped Snivy's knee. "Dude. Are you kidding me? I've liked her since high school."

Snivy shook his head. "As if I would ever go for Lilly. She's some sort of tomboy punk rock daredevil. I want a girl that'll admit I'm better than her, and let me push her around."

Oshawott rolled his eyes. "Your ego is bigger than Tepig's appetite."

Tepig stared at them blankly. He had never had one girlfriend, unless you counted when he and a Miltank made out behind the dumpster in third grade. "Meh. Lilligant's pretty sweet. I think you should go for her, Oshy."

Oshawott blushed. "As if I'll ever work up the courage to ask her out. I'm a total coward."

"Yes." Snivy snickered. "Yes, you are."

Oshawott glared back at him.

After the lunch break terminated, the three plodded through their work, but, of course, they never got much done. Oshawott distracted by Lilligant; Tepig just goofing off in his office; and Snivy ranting about how superior he is to the office building.

When Oshawott arrived home after that day, he was chatting to his two friends on the phone. "No, Tepig…" He answered. "I don't think one Pokemon can eat an entire turkey in five seconds. …What? You just did it? Of course, only you could do that. What do you mean that sounds like something Snivy would say?" He sighed deeply. "I'm going to go watch the news. Talk to you later."

Of course, Oshawott wasn't about to watch the "news" part of the news. That's what the Internet was for. Every day, he tuned in to only thirty seconds of the program: the winning lottery numbers.

Tepig and Snivy were also attentively watching the news at their homes.

Tepig looked intently at his ticket.

"The winning lottery numbers are…" The dull, elderly news anchor began. "7…"

Tepig sighed deeply. Out on only the first number. As his nature, he threw the ticket to the side, and began to take a nap to get over his losing ticket.

"7…"

Both Snivy and Oshawott smirked, having two of the six numbers on their cards.

"1…"

Snivy yelled a profanity and broke his ticket across his knee, having lost yet again. "Stupid lottery people. Don't know a good card when they see it."

Oshawott was still in the running, harboring a flare of confidence.

"4…"

Oshawott looked back at his ticket and couldn't believe he only needed two more numbers to have his life changed. He had only made it this far a few times before.

"4…"

Oshawott's heart skipped a beat. He had never made it to five numbers before. If only the reporter would announce a 9…

The news anchor sifted through his index cards. "And, um… 9."

What happened next is described by some of Oshawott's neighbors to be one of the loudest and wildest things they had ever heard. It involved throwing a lamp out the window, smashing a vase in half, and breaking the very television that had given the news of his fortune.

He immediately called Snivy and Tepig to inform the two of what had happened.

Snivy picked up the phone with bitter disgust that he had not won. "What do you want now, Oshawott?" He listened to Oshawott's terrific announcement and beamed. "Looks like you're good for something, Oshawott!" He complimented. "By tomorrow, I'll finally have the life someone of my quality deserves."

Tepig also answered Oshawott's call and was informed of his winning lottery ticket. He sighed deeply and sat back. "And they said I would never get anywhere by slacking and letting other people do stuff for me. What do they know?"

Oshawott smirked. "You know, I think we should wait until Monday to start our new lives… there are a few things I have to settle first."

That following weekend, the trio rested assured that they no longer had any responsibilities nor needed really anything more than what they already had.

They repeated their usual morning routine the same way as always, not showing anything more than smug looks—especially from Snivy—about their new condition.

As they passed by the hallway on the way to their boss' office, they noticed Lilligant staring at them.

"What're you three so happy about today?" She sighed tragically. "It's Monday morning; the worst time of the entire week."

Oshawott winked rather awkwardly at her. "I guess we found happiness."

The three then proceeded to approach the secretary outside the boss' office.

The secretary folded her arms. She was a rather ancient looking Dragonite, staring at them as if expecting something. "Do you have an appointment?"

Snivy smirked and took some cash out of Oshawott's pocket. "No, we don't… but Benjamin Frillish does." He handed her a crisp hundred-dollar bill and folded his own arms, waiting for something, as she had.

The secretary blushed. "Uh, yes." She tucked the dollar bill into her pocket. "Go right ahead."

The three entered the office of the elderly, wrinkled Arceus.

The boss was looking at something on his laptop and had his right hand under his desk. He was moaning pleasurably.

The trio's eyes widened.

The Arceus looked up and gasped. He shut his laptop and threw it out the window, completely shattering the glass.

Tepig was the first to speak up. "Uh, sir…"

Arceus cleared his throat. "What are you employees doing in my office? I'm pretty sure I didn't make an appointment with you. I can fire you, you know."

Oshawott gave a sinister chuckle to the side. "No need, sir. We quit."

Arceus gasped. "Who quits at this time? It's not like jobs are easy to come by."

Snivy scoffed. "Jobs. We don't need those things anymore."

"…I think you guys have officially lost your minds." Arceus concluded.

Oshawott pulled out the winning lottery ticket. "See this?"

Arceus nodded.

He pulled out the check for the gazillion dollars.

Arceus sighed in amazement. "You nutjobs won the lottery? Life can really be unfair sometimes."

Tepig nodded in agreement. "Oh, and, dude, there's one thing I've always wanted to do." He shoved Arceus out of the leather chair and sat down in it. He stayed stationary for about fifteen seconds. "…So that's what authority and accomplishment feels like. Never felt that before."

Arceus rolled his eyes. "See you, guys. I hope you all see how nice it is to not have to work for a living."

The three nodded and promptly exited the office. They were met with several glances and stares.

Lilligant smirked. "Righteous, guys. The others and I were watching everything from the window. It was so cool how you just stood up to him and quit your jobs. Finally won that lottery, eh?"

Oshawott nodded, love-struck. "Mm-hmm… pretty sweet. I bought the grand mansion over in the hills earlier this morning."

"Cool." Lilligant responded flirtatiously.

Oshawott began to cringe in pleasure.

Snivy rolled his eyes. "Come on, lover boy." He yanked Oshawott away by the ears and carried him all the way to their new mansion.

The three looked in awe at the golden mansion, tall glass windows and a beautiful, engraved front door.

Tepig gasped. "I can't wait to trash this place…"

"I can't wait to brag to all the little people about this." Snivy scoffed.

Oshawott simply nodded in agreement with the pair. He took out a solid gold key and opened up the lock in the center of the large door and motioned for Tepig and Snivy to step in before him. The two did so, leaving Oshawott to enter the complex afterwards.

Tepig immediately threw himself onto a green, expensive-looking couch in the center of the foyer. "Ahhhh…" He sighed, relaxed. He picked up a TV remote and switched on a high-definition, plasma screen television that was sitting on a wooden table across from him.

Snivy sighed deeply and rolled his eyes. "Tepig in his natural environment."

Tepig shrugged and nodded.

Oshawott set his luggage down behind Tepig and sighed deeply. "Well, we did it. We're finally here. Everything's good and awesome now."

Snivy folded his arms. "Yeah, but there's only one issue. What the hell do we do now?"

Oshawott shrugged. "This is a big mansion. We could find something to do."

And after that one statement, the trio began to look around every room and closet of the entire home, claiming their bedrooms and other rooms for themselves. After only about fourteen days, they had used up every single thing they had for enjoyment and found themselves utterly bored. Oshawott had used his cash to date sixteen girls, Snivy had used his brag to his other friends, and Tepig had continued to laze around as usual.

Oshawott was sitting on the couch with his current girlfriend, simply staring at her.

"So…" The Gothorita cooed. "What do you want to do know, Oshy?"

Oshawott giggled. "I want to do y—" He was interrupted by the ring of his phone; the song "Squirt in My Mouth" by Poke Island.

The voice of Lilligant came over the line. "Hey, Oshawott." She greeted. "I got off work early today… _really _early. I'm coming over to see you guys' mansion. It's going to be pretty sweet, I bet. Be over in about fifteen minutes."

Oshawott nodded dreamingly. "Yes, ma'am…" He agreed. "See you then…" He hung up and mumbled to himself, "K… got fifteen minutes to tell Gothorita I'm breaking up with her."

He met Gothorita on the same couch and sighed deeply. "Gothorita—"

"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" Gothorita demanded.

"…Yeah, pretty much." Oshawott admitted. "I take it you're okay with it?"

Gothorita shrugged. "I like your narcissistic friend more, anyway."

Oshawott rolled his eyes and facepalmed.

"Yo, Snivy!" Gothorita called and went to look for Snivy.

Oshawott exhaled. "Okay… Lilligant's coming. I had no idea and I'm unprepared, but I won't panic. It's all okay…" He used a rag to polish his horns and shell.

Tepig, still lying on that couch across from the television, chuckled. "Lilligant's coming over, man? I gave her the address a few days back. She said she'd be over to see us when she could. I guess she can now, man…"

Oshawott nodded. "It'll be good to see her again."

A chime was heard.

"It's her!" Oshawott exclaimed and ran to the door. He cracked it open and invited Lilligant inside.

Lilligant stepped in and looked around the scene. "Pretty nice set-up you have here. Kind of like, fancy, but not too fancy." She looked to Tepig. "He's _really _helping the whole non-fancy thing."

Tepig was snoring away, covered in pizza crusts and old cupcake wrappers.

"So… what brings you here, Lilly?" Oshawott inquired smoothly.

Lilligant folded her arms and looked up inspirationally. "My dream, of course. Ever since you guys quit your jobs, it's been a huge inspiration to me."

"So…" Oshawott muttered. "You quit, too?"

Lilligant nodded her head proudly. "I've always wanted to be a writer, Oshawott. Magazines, newspapers, books, whatever. Writing is my passion. You should see the times I've stayed up past midnight, listening to rock music and writing novels."

Oshawott blushed. "And you realized working at the office wasn't getting you any closer to that?"

Lilligant nodded once again. "Plus, I hated that boss and my cubicle neighbor, Zigzagoon, with a passion… maybe bigger than the one I have for writing, y'know?"

"So, to help my writing, I decided to move down the road after I saw what beautiful scenery there was here." Lilligant continued. "A friend of mine let me move in with them."

Oshawott's eyes arose. "A friend of yours? Is he hot?"

Lilligant looked to the side awkwardly. "I guess _she's _kind of cute."

Oshawott's face turned brighter than Tepig's. "Oh… that's… nice."

Lilligant nodded slower than she had earlier and scratched her back. "Well… I guess I'll catch you later, neighbor." She quietly let herself out and drove back to her new home.

Oshawott stared after her and facepalmed. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…"

Tepig suddenly woke with a start. "Oshawott! Did you blow it, dude? That's not what she said."

Oshawott moaned and nodded. "Everything was going great, until I asked if her roommate was hot. It's like if she got jealous because I'm living with you and Snivy."

"Well, look on the bright side, dude." Tepig reminded. "We got the rest of our lives to work toward what we want. No more work, no more nothing. We're set for life. You'll get a billion more chances to Lilligant, man."

Oshawott nodded. "Yeah… she'll have forgotten about it before I know it. Thanks, Tepig."

Tepig winked. "No biggie, dude."

Oshawott threw himself on the couch and sighed deeply. "Well, it looks like we're going to be here for the rest of our lives. Working toward whatever we want… without really working. This is the life."

Snivy and Gothorita came out of the kitchen, kiss marks on both of their faces.

"Yeah…" Snivy said hazily. "The rest of our lives…"

And from that day, the trio decided to work towards what goals they still had and help each other… only when they wanted to, of course.


	2. Chapter 2

Oshawott was standing outside of his bedroom at the mansion, resting his flippers on the balcony railing and looking thoughtfully into the distance. The soft December snow had begun to fall upon the town of Pokeville, and many of the residents had already set up flashing lights and other assorted decorations. A giant inflatable Sandile Claus was standing in front of his, Tepig's, and Snivy's mansion. As he looked into the clouds, they only thing on his mind was Lilligant, as always. Literally, he had no desire for anything except her. All he wanted for Christmas was her. His contemplation was interrupted by one of his good friends and roommates.

Tepig stepped out onto the balcony, wearing about thirty different sweaters. "Dude." He sighed. "Come inside, already. It's, like, cold out here. You'll get sick or something. Now, come on, you have to help me make my letter to Sandile Claus."

Oshawott turned to him and sighed deeply. "Tepig, for the seventh year in a row, Sandile Claus is not re—"

Tepig put on a tragic face that simply said, "What do you mean he isn't real?"

Oshawott sighed deeply. "Fine, Tepig. Let's go see what you want this time."

Just as the two were about to finish Tepig's letter, Snivy came home, looking not-at-his-best.

Snivy had a black eye and a bruise on his tail. He was muttering unintelligible profanities.

"Looks like _someone's _in the holiday spirit." Oshawott remarked sarcastically.

Snivy folded his arms. "Can it, Oshawott. I just deemed my girlfriend—former girlfriend—unworthy of my affection."

"Sure she didn't dump you?" Oshawott asked. "I mean, 'deem you unworthy of _her _affection?'"

Snivy shook his head. "No girl has ever broken up with _me_. No girl _wouldn't _want this." He pointed to his own body.

"Then why are so beat up, dude?" Tepig inquired. "What happened?"

"Oh, uh, I…" Snivy stammered. "I tripped over a broken piece of glass on my way here and fell onto a… anvil? Yeah, an anvil."

Oshawott facepalmed. "Mm-hmm."

Tepig was shown still doodling on his paper. "And a _big… hard… long…_"

Oshawott and Snivy began to snicker pervertedly.

"…Statue of myself." Tepig finished suspiciously. "What did you dudes think I was going to say?"

Oshawott shrugged, feigning innocence.

Snivy muttered a curse and retreated to his bedroom. "If either of you need me, I'll be in my room, carefully avoiding all that is the garbage of Christmas."

"Lighten up, Smugleaf!" Oshawott called after him. His watch made a beeping sound. "Aw, crap, is that tonight?"

"What's tonight, man?" Tepig inquired, still filling out his rather lengthy list.

"The annual Week-Before-Christmas sale over at Bullseye." Oshawott replied. "I still have to get stuff for you, Snivy, Lilligant, Lilligant, and Lilligant."

"You can just skip me, dude!" Tepig assured. "Sandile Claus'll bring me all I want."

Oshawott looked behind him as if to defy him, but decided it was simply one less gift for him to spend money on and continued out the door.

A common setting depicting a regular Sandile dressed up as Sandile Claus taking pictures with young children—and slutty attractive woman.

Oshawott, having driven to the mall for much more than Christmas shopping, was watching this from behind a cardboard tree, licking his lips whenever a more attractive girl approached the jolly plump elf. He was startled by a familiar, pleasant-sounding voice.

"Oshawott." Lilligant greeted. "Spying lustfully on random girls, I presume?"

Oshawott, obviously caught off-guard, began putting his mind to coming up with an excuse. "I, uh… was, um…"

Lilligant giggled. "It's okay, dude. I was staring at the guys over at Aerocrombie and Mitch a while ago."

Oshawott blushed and nodded. "Yeah… so, um, what brings you to this fine Pokeville mall?" He asked, desperate to change the subject.

Lilligant sighed deeply. "Why everyone else is here, of course. Doing some shopping, of course. Christmas is way too commercialized these days. But, y'know, I still have to do my share and give and crap."

Oshawott nodded. "I have to give the guys something, as always. Though, usually, Snivy just gets me absolutely nothing, thinking he's too good to give, and Tepig just expects Sandile Claus to get me something."

Lilligant bit back laughter. "He's a grown Pokemon and still believes in Sandile Claus?"

"Yep." Oshawott confirmed. "I've had to lie to him all these years so he doesn't break into a crying fit, like what happened when we were twelve."

"What happened when you were twelve?" Lilligant asked curiously.

A flashback of Tepig's childhood house, decorated heavily for the holidays, was shown.

A young Tepig was shown going up to his older brother, a tall and strong-looking Pignite. "Brother, when will Sandile Claus be here?"

The Pignite smacked Tepig across the face. "Sandile Claus isn't real, you wimp!" He let out a devious laugh.

Tepig then ran with tears in his eyes all the way to Oshawott's house. When there, he burst into Oshawott's room and began blubbering about the existence of Sandile Claus.

The scene flashed forward to the present.

"So… yeah." Oshawott concluded. "It took me about a week to calm him down. I even had to force Snivy and some Sandile from school to pull off some sort of sleigh scene."

Lilligant nodded. "The holidays aren't always cheer and holly, you know."

Oshawott looked to the floor, depressed. "What do you mean?"

"I never really got a real Christmas." Lilligant confessed. "As a kid, my mom was always working, and my dad was…" She bit her lip. "…Gone. I always celebrated Christmas by myself. I guess once I grew up, I got too used to it, and now I won't let anyone get close to me on Christmas. You've seen how I never attended the office party back when we still worked there. I usually spend both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day alone."

"Oh…" Oshawott muttered in meek response. "Gotcha. Are you, um, doing anything special this year, though?"

"My sister invited me over to her house for a few days, surprisingly." Lilligant shrugged. "I guess she wants to make up for being such a bitch to me when we were younger."

"You never mentioned a sister before." Oshawott realized, licking his lips at the idea at identical twins. "I thought you were an only child, like me."

Lilligant shook her head. "Like I just said, she doesn't really deserve to be mentioned. Even now, she wants me to leave the day before Christmas Eve so she can spend Christmas with her sleazy boyfriend. I'm actually buying a gift for her right now; I leave for her place tonight."

"What're you getting her?" Oshawott inquired.

Lilligant took out a CD sporting a picture of Justin Bidoof on the cover. "She hates JB, so I thought this might be perfect for her."

Oshawott stifled a chuckle. "Nice, Lilligant."

Suddenly, an employee hung a piece of mistletoe above them and smirked.

The two blushed, but Oshawott put on a satisfied grin.

They leaned in to share a sweet smooch, but were interrupted by the sound of a childish shriek.

Tepig was running around the mall, chasing a Sandile dressed as Sandile Claus.

"Get away, kid!" The Sandile ordered. "It's time for my break! There's another guy there if you want to sit on his lap!"

"Sandile Claus!" Tepig ignored. "Come back here! I still have 256 items I want to run by you!"

"Oh, Arceus." Oshawott sighed. "I have to go put an end to this. I'll see you, uh… later, Lilligant." He dashed off to help the poor Sandile Claus fake.

Lilligant looked after the short otter-like thing and sighed. "Ok…" She mumbled and walked away sadly.

Oshawott was shown dragging an unconscious Tepig into the mansion. He was muttering dirty, incoherent things about who he was carrying. "Who the hell chases Sandile Claus at the mall…?"

Tepig suddenly awoke. "What? W-what happened?"

"You chased Sandile Claus for another three blocks after the mall." Oshawott explained. "Then, he got tired of running and punched your lights out."

"Oh…" Tepig trembled. "Maybe I should just wait for him to come on Christmas Eve." His eyes suddenly widened. "You don't think this means I'm on the naughty list, do you?"

Oshawott sighed deeply. "No, Tepig, I do not. I bet Sandile Claus'll let it slide this one time."

"Dude, but just in case?" Tepig prodded. "Is there any way you know to, like, make up for this?"

Oshawott facepalmed, obviously exasperated. "No, Tepig, I do n—" He stopped himself, as if having an idea. "Actually, you could come with me tonight to the, uh… Drive to, uh… Decorate Poor People's… Houses."

Of course, Oshawott did feel some regret having to trick Tepig so that he would help him decorate Lilligant's house for the holidays. But it was better than just telling him the truth, he thought.

Tepig put a finger to his chin. "That sounds cool, man. How long's it going to take?"

"Six days." Oshawott answered flatly.

Tepig's eyes widened. "But, man, then…" He showed a hint of doubt. "I'll be _extra_ good for when Sandile Claus comes!"

Oshawott shrugged. "Yeah, sure, why not? Now, help me get Snivy in on it."

Tepig chuckled as the two climbed the bright white staircase to Snivy's room. "That's gonna be super hard, dude."

"That's what she said." Oshawott joked, despite their situation.

Tepig giggled shrilly.

Oshawott burst into Snivy's room with a crash.

Snivy didn't move a single leaf and continued to snore away under the covers.

Oshawott muttered a profanity and violently shook the bed.

Snivy simply tossed and turned a bit and continued to snooze away.

Oshawott smirked and connected a pair of headphones to a stereo Snivy had on his bedside table. He kicked the volume up to full blast and waited for the desired effect.

Within three seconds, Snivy had heard part of the chorus of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Deerling" and was awoken. "Mommy, I hate that song!" He cried into space.

Oshawott chuckled. "But, seriously, dude." He sighed. "You're going to help me and Tepig decorate Lilligant's house and you are going to like it… okay, maybe, you won't like it, but still."

Tepig frowned. "I thought we were going to decorate a poor person's home."

Oshawott blushed, his lies having caught up with him. "Oh, yeah, um… that too."

Snivy folded his arms. "Why would I do that?"

"How about you've been a total jerk all these Christmases?" Oshawott tried. "Or how about if you don't actually try getting in the holiday spirit, you'll be haunted by three ghosts or something like that?"

"That only happens in the movies, you idiot." Snivy informed. "And what else, Sandile Claus fills my stocking with coal?"

"Yeah!" Tepig exclaimed. "That, like, happened to me one year, dude."

Snivy snickered. "Good luck getting me out from under here now." He hid back under his covers.

Oshawott gave another deep sigh. He held up a DVD marked "If Anyone Sees This, Snivy's Life Will Be Ruined for Eternity." "Snivy." Oshawott threatened. "Do it or this is going on PokeTube."

Snivy suddenly threw the sheets to the floor and nodded. "Of course I'll do this for Lilligant, Oshawott. Of course, I'll do anything you say." He gave his so-called friend a forced smile.

Oshawott smirked and led his two pals out of the mansion and to Lilligant's abode.

The trio was shown stepping out of Oshawott's car and walking over to Lilligant's front door.

Snivy sighed deeply and knocked softly on the door. He waited for about two seconds and turned to Oshawott with a glare. "She's not home."

The perverted otter folded his arms. "Of course she isn't. If she wasn't, how would this be a surprise? She's visiting her sister."

"Well, that's just dandy." Snivy retorted sarcastically. "Now, genius, how are we going to get in?"

Tepig gasped. "Why don't we get in how Sandile Claus gets in?"

His two friends looked at him quizzically.

Tepig squealed and climbed onto the roof of the house. He slowly inched onto the top of the chimney and eased himself down.

Oshawott and Snivy stared at each other awkwardly.

"I'll do it if you do it." They said in unison.

They stared at each other for about three seconds more.

"That's not what she said." They continued, also in unison.

Within fifteen minutes, Oshawott and Snivy were falling down from Lilligant's chimney, covered in smoke.

Tepig was awaiting them, playing around with a few kitchen utensils Lilligant owned. "Wasn't that, like, awesome, dudes?"

Oshawott coughed up black smoke. "Tepig, stop playing with those. It's a violation of privacy."

"Said the guy who just made us climb down some chick's chimney for his own twisted Christmas fantasy." Snivy shot at Oshawott.

"Look, Snivy." Oshawott remarked. "This is not the time to be making fun of me. This is the time to pulling off a huge Christmas present."

"Whatever." Snivy pouted.

Oshawott held up an extremely long, multicolored line of lights. "We'll start with the outside."

Snivy facepalmed. "If we were going to start with the outside anyway, why'd we take the effort to break in before we even needed to?"

Oshawott shrugged. "So we'd know how to do it later…?"

Tepig beamed and grabbed the lights from Oshawott. He exited the home and begun hanging lights over the gutters and windows.

Snivy sighed deeply. "Well, now that we have the outside done—"

Oshawott interrupted him with a sadistic chuckle. "We're not anywhere near done with the outside."

A montage of the three hanging up assorted inflatables including some of a Deerling, a snowman, and, of course, Sandile Claus.

Tepig, who had been working on the Sandile Claus one, beamed at his hard work.

Snivy was shown reluctantly hanging lit-up signs reading "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays."

Oshawott, of course, did most of the work. He was shown hanging up elaborate lights displays, setting speaker systems that play soft Christmas music, and other epic decorations.

The interior, of course, undertook even more work and more beauty. A Christmas tree was hung, wreaths were set upon the doors, and the aforementioned tree was decorated from top to bottom. Of course, mistletoe was hung thoroughly to ensure his kiss with Lilligant. By Christmas Eve, Lilligant's house was fully prepared for the holidays.

The montage slowly came to a close as Snivy approached Oshawott. He observed the mistletoe hung around the home. "Looks like someone wants a Christmas kiss."

Oshawott replied with a weak shrug. "Maybe we'll kiss… and, you know, see what happens later… have a little sleepover."

Snivy stared blankly at his amigo. "…I'm out of here." He was a few inches from the door before Oshawott grabbed him.

Oshawott pulled Snivy back by the tail. "You're not going anywhere, Mr. Pompous. The three of us are going to leap out and surprise Lilligant when she comes in."

Tepig suddenly fell from the ceiling, coated in tinsel. "Done hanging the tinsel…" He wheezed. "Not exactly the easiest job ever, dudes."

Oshawott rolled his eyes. "Tepig, you and Snivy go hide. I'll hide out closer to here and give you guys the signal when Lilligant shows up."

"What's the signal?" Tepig sighed deeply.

"Uh…" Oshawott stuttered. He lifted his right flipper ever-so-slightly. "That, I guess."

Snivy muttered to the side, but nodded. "Fine. Come on, Tepig; let's go 'hide.'"

He and Tepig hid themselves in a wooden cabinet near Lilligant's bedroom.

Oshawott stood out in the open, staring in high anticipation at the light brown front door.

Lilligant was shown parking her car in front of the house, still obviously angry at her sister. "That little brat pushes me out to hang out with that crappy boyfriend of hers…" She grumbled. "What does she even know? She listens to… _pop music_." She let out a deep shudder. "Well, time to spend Christmas alone… _again_." She slowly and begrudgingly walked towards her house, using a golden key she had in her pocket to open up the front door.

Oshawott leaped at her with a proud expression. "Surprise!" He beamed and spread his arms to show his crush what he had done.

Lilligant gasped in glee. "Oshawott…" She sighed in delight. "This is just… no one has ever done something so nice and cool for me. Th-thanks…"

Oshawott grinned and hugged the sexy grass-type. "Lilligant, I'd do anything to give you an awesome Christmas… I know you really deserve one."

Lilligant nodded somewhat ironically. "Listen, Oshawott… Even though it's super creepy that you broke into my house to do this…"

Oshawott bit his lip.

"…It's really nice of you." Lilligant finished. "I mean, for you to do this all by yourself—"

"Yep, all by myself!" Oshawott lied eagerly. "No one else _at all_!"

"…Yeah." Lilligant agreed. "All by yourself. It really just… reminds us all about the true meaning of Christmas."

Oshawott looked up and smirked at the mistletoe above them.

Lilligant shrugged and smirked back. "Why not? Maybe this time we'll actually get to do it…"

Oshawott nearly let out an immature chuckle.

Lilligant gave a slight smile. "That's not what she said."

And with that, the two Pokemon shared a long, heartfelt smooch.

Tepig and Snivy were shown still in the cabinet.

"…Do you think he's giving us the signal anytime soon, man?" Tepig wondered to Snivy. "It's been, like, a while."

"…I'm pretty sure he's, um… _distracted_." Snivy answered. "Let's get out of this stupid thing." He attempted to push on the interior of the doors, but they didn't budge a centimeter. "Houston… we have a problem."

Tepig's eyes widened. "Dude, do you think we'll miss Christmas?"

Oshawott and Lilligant were shown wearing party hats and dancing, keeping one eye on a clock above their heads. A banner to the side read "Happy New Year."

"I love New Year's Eve!" Oshawott exclaimed. "I'm going to go get a drink, and then we can watch the ball drop."

He and Lilligant looked at each other for about five seconds before yelling in unison, "That's what she said!"

Oshawott then walked over to the cabinet Tepig and Snivy were in, the drinks being set there. He was startled by a sound coming from the cabinet. He looked around him suspiciously and curiously opened it.

His two forgotten friends gasped for air, trying desperately to escape from the small space.

"What was that?" Lilligant inquired and began to walk towards Oshawott.

Oshawott gasped and swiftly shut the double-doored piece of furniture. He then grinned at Lilligant and feigned innocence. "Oh, uh, nothing… nothing at all." He panted.

Remember, kids, have holiday spirit… or you'll end up locked in a cabinet.


	3. Chapter 3

Oshawott was shown inside his bedroom at the mansion. He was lying lazily in his king-size bed, his silver, overheating laptop covering the bright violet sheets. He moaned and threw his head back and banged his skull on the durable wooden surface. He moaned a second time and rubbed his head. He moved his flipper along the mouse and left-clicked exhaustedly.

A purrloin continuously chanting the word "nyan" began to play on-screen.

Oshawott's tired, reddened eyes sprang up. "That is so annoying…" He muttered. "But… must… click… on… next… video…"

Snivy cracked the tall, white door open and peered in to the room.

Oshawott weakly looked up with his bloodshot eyes. "It's over nine thousand…" His voice trailed off.

Snivy facepalmed and sighed deeply. "Oshawott. I thought we got over this phase in middle school." He folded his arms. "It's not healthy to watch internet videos all night. Go out and get a life, dude. Who knows, maybe you'll get a good one… like mine."

Oshawott's eyes focused on Snivy way too quickly for someone who just pulled an all-nighter. "Snivy. I thought we got over this phase in middle school." He droned mockingly. "It's not healthy to have such a big ego. Go out and lose some self-esteem, dude. Who knows, maybe you'll lose a lot… like me."

Snivy smirked. "You're saying you have low self-esteem?"

Oshawott gave Snivy a cold glare. "You do what you want; I'll do what I want."

"Am I the only one who has a life anymore?" Snivy sighed. "You watch internet videos all night, and Tepig only eats pizza and sleeps 24/7."

"I heard that, man!" Tepig called from another room in the mansion.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Snivy countered.

"…Good point." Tepig admitted. Snoring was heard afterwards.

Oshawott's gaze shifted back to the laptop screen as he clicked on a different video. "Teddiursa with a funny talent…"

"What makes that stuff so cool, anyways?" Snivy muttered. He sat down next to Oshawott.

The laptop played a video of a young Teddiursa wiggling her eyebrows to the tune of some music.

Oshawott chuckled bizarrely as he stuffed his face with potato chips.

Snivy raised his own eyebrows, as if to copy her. Needless to say, he epically failed. "Well, uh… anyone could do that. Especially me. That chick was just bored and recorded herself being stupid. Anyone could make a viral video _that _way."

"Then why don't you make one…?" Oshawott muttered back. "If it's so easy…"

"…Fine, then." Snivy decided. "I'll make one. The internet will benefit from my beauty. Why shouldn't a soul so kind contribute to the absolute gorgeousness of the internet? I'm glad I thought of it."

Oshawott looked up at Snivy and chortled. "I got your first idea: Snivy Fails At Making a Viral Video."

"Nice one." Snivy scoffed sarcastically. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go rip off other viral videos in hopes of making my own viral web video."

"Nice one." Oshawott returned, just as sarcastically as his egoistic friend. "Have fun with that. Now… get out."

"Or what?" Snivy pressed. "You'll use your laziness abilities?"

Oshawott burped directly at Snivy's face.

Snivy gagged as his face turned even more green. "I thought only Tepig's breath smelled that bad…" He backed out of the room in silence.

"Yeah, you better go!" Oshawott called after him.

Tepig and Snivy were shown outside the next morning, Snivy wearing a loose-fitting shirt with his face on it. It read "SNIVY," with the "S" backwards.

Tepig was shown standing behind the small, gray camera. "So, dude… it is on?"

Snivy facepalmed. "Yes, Tepig… it _is _on."

Tepig beamed. "And it's supposed to be on!" He concluded. "Right, man?"

Snivy muttered a profanity and tried to control his temper. "No, Tepig. No, it is not. You weren't supposed to turn it on until I told you to."

Tepig stared at the narcissistic plant-type blankly. "…When will that be, dude?"

Snivy scowled and was about to say something very naughty, when Oshawott walked in.

"Oshawott!" Snivy exclaimed in great relief. "Can you man the camera? Tepig's being kind of… incompetent."

Oshawott raised an eyebrow. "All you have to do is press record and leave the camera there… whatever." Oshawott did as he just stated and backed away.

Snivy ran up to the camera and began screaming into it. "I'm going to go swimming later! My dad is in jail! I like Judy! Kevin sucks! Ahhhhhh!" He shrieked.

Oshawott sighed deeply, "Sheesh. That's incredibly annoying."

Tepig nodded. "And inaccurate." He added.

Snivy folded his arms. "Turn off the camera." He managed through clenched teeth.

Oshawott rolled his eyes and flicked the camera off.

Snivy was shown, editing the footage he shot earlier that day.

Oshawott approached him. "How you doing, you weed?"

Snivy ignored the rude comment and clicked his computer mouse. "For your information, I just uploaded the world's newest viral video." He clicked the mouse a second time.

The video he shot began to play, sounding even more annoying in its final cut.

It was practically identical to the rough draft, excluding the time at the end where Snivy ordered for the camera to be switched off… and, of course, Snivy's voice. It was so extremely high-pitched that it would likely shatter glass and send creatures with sensitive hearing screaming for their lives.

Oshawott facepalmed. "Check the views in the morning. If it's not at least a million, you've failed bro."

Snivy chuckled cockily. "That will _not _happen."

The trio of millionaires was shown the following morning at their breakfast table.

Snivy took out his laptop and let it boot up on top of his waffles. "Dude." He called to Oshawott. "Get ready to be proven wro—"

He was suddenly cut off by reading a nasty comment and depressing amount of views.

"How many views?" Oshawott scoffed rudely.

"Four..." Snivy muttered meekly. "…I'm going to go try again." He trekked out of the room as Oshawott went over to the laptop.

"Haha, someone told him he sucks." He giggled. "What kind of username is Hogwarts, though?"

Tepig winced. "That was me, dude…"

Snivy was later shown standing in front of a green screen, a professional-looking camera person behind the camera.

"Okay, Snivy…" The person uttered. "And… action."

Snivy cleared his throat and began to blab on, like in his previous viral video attempt. "Yeah, so, I recently saw this video that got like two million views in just two days! So, like, it's of something really stupid that probably wouldn't get anymore views if I weren't talking about it right now! Without further ado, here's said video." He waited for a moment.

"Um, sir…" The camera person informed. "We don't have an editing team."

Snivy facepalmed. "Surely someone as great as I would be able to get a simple editing team. Well, whatever. There's another video in the toilet." He began to march out of the room when he was stopped by Oshawott.

"Looks like you didn't even make it online this time around…" Oshawott observed. "Third time's the charm, eh?"

Snivy narrowed his eyes. "…This isn't over, Aqua-Lad. Mark my words…" He shoved the water-type out of his path and departed from the building.

Snivy was, of course, seen with another attempt to create a viral video. He and Tepig were shown in a bright crimson parked car, Tepig in the driver's seat and Snivy in the back seat, on the right side.

Tepig squinted at the camera and thought for a minute. "Okay, man… it's rolling, or whatever."

Snivy cleared his throat once again and began spinning his head around. "I feel funny… I have two fingers… everything's blurry… is this going to be forever?"

Snivy and Tepig were shown at the house soon after, crowded around Snivy's laptop.

"Dude, are you almost done, like, editing…?" Tepig asked.

Snivy shook his head. "At least another two hours."

Tepig moaned and marched out of the bedroom.

"Hey!" Oshawott called from outside. "Snivy!"

Snivy rolled his eyes and left his station to look out on the balcony.

He found Oshawott holding a small video camera. "Just thought I'd use some of my fortune to get you a pity gift." He informed smugly. "Maybe with this camera, you'll be able to make a viral video!"

Snivy rolled his eyes once more. He leaned against the balcony. "Oshawott, that sounds like something _I _would say. It just doesn't work for y—"

He was interrupted by a cracking sound. Suddenly, the balcony broke to pieces and fell to the floor, taking Snivy with it.

Snivy moaned in pain. "Someone help me! This shouldn't happen to someone so beautiful!"

Ambulance sirens began to sound as his cry for aid resounded abundantly.

Snivy was later shown laying in a hospital bed, his two comrades looking at his pale lime face, Oshawott tapping away at his cell phone. "Sweet!" He exclaimed. "Seven million views already."

Snivy shot daggers at the small water-type. "You're checking out those stupid viral videos _again_? While I just lie here in pain?"

Oshawott beamed coyly and held the phone down to Snivy's field of vision. "I think you may enjoy this one."

Snivy gasped in horror as footage of him falling from the now-destructed balcony unfolded before his very eyes. "Y-you… uploaded that?"

Oshawott smirked and nodded slowly. "Mm-hmm. Turns out I had the camera on when it happened. Lucky, huh?"

Snivy's right eye twitched.

Oshawott chuckled as if he were amused by this, which, of course, he was. "Looks like you made a viral vid after all, Snivy. I hope you're happy."

Snivy growled and began to thrash violently around the bed.

Tepig looked up and asked Oshawott, "Want to go get something to eat, man?"

Oshawott nodded as the two left the hospital room, leaving Snivy in his own self-pity and anger.

Snivy continued to thrash about until he hit his head on the headrest and went out cold on his bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Snivy was shown lying awake in his bed, eyes bloodshot with sheer exhaustion. Tepig could be heard screaming in what could only be described as agony from his bedroom. Snivy sighed deeply and grunted as he struggled out of bed and trudged through the hallway.

On his way to Tepig's room, he peered into Oshawott's door, which was wide open and noticed he was wearing earplugs and sleeping like an infant.

"Lucky dog," Snivy muttered as he approached Tepig's door and slowly banged upon it.

Tepig momentarily stopped his agonizing yells and opened up the door. "Oh, hey, Snivy."

The narcissistic grass-type sighed deeply. "Tepig. Tell me. Why do you wake up in the middle of the night screaming every once in a while?

Tepig shrugged. "I have dreams about donuts, wake up and realize it didn't really happen, and scream due to my loss. It's freaking messed up, man." He continued to shriek at the top of his lungs.

Snivy's right eye twitched as he sighed deeply once more. "If I _get you _some donuts, will you shut the heck up?"

Tepig shrugged despite his screaming. "Yeah, I guess."

Snivy dragged himself towards the kitchen and stopped momentarily when he heard Tepig's yells continue. "It's almost over, Snivy… it's almost over." He began coaxing himself as he pulled a box of donuts out of the pantry. "Okay, just grab a donut and…" He opened the box and found nothing but crumbs inside. His face was horrorstricken. "B-but… I bought this box just yesterday."

He then recalled the preceding afternoon when Tepig and Oshawott had played Chubby Bunny using the donuts.

"Chubby Bunny." Oshawott had muttered, four donuts stuffed into his mouth.

Snivy, simply onlooking their idiocy, had questioned, "Shouldn't you guys use marshmallows, like normal people?"

Tepig had shrugged. "Donuts are much more hardcore, man."

Snivy, now in the present, smashing his head against the counter. "If only I had stopped that moronic game… if only, if only."

Tepig was smashing a lamp in frustration when Snivy came back into his room. He sheepishly shrugged, ready to endure another screaming fit.

"Um, Tepig…" He began. "We're… out of donuts."

Tepig began to howl as loud as possible, shattering his friend's eardrums.

"Wait!" Snivy interrupted. "We can, um… get some more donuts. J-just…" He pulled out his car keys. "We'll take my car! We'll have you eating in no time! …Just stop screaming."

Tepig's eyes lit up. "Really, dude?" He asked. "You'd get up at three in the morning just to drive me to a donut place in the car you never even let me sit in?"

"Sure…" Snivy murmured under his breath. "Of course, Tepig."

"Yay, adventure!" Tepig squealed and ran out of the room.

Snivy winced in sheer misery. "I can't believe I'm doing this to myself…"

Moments later, the two were sitting in Snivy's car, the grass-type driving and Tepig at shotgun.

"Dude…" Tepig awed. "This car is so… clean."

Snivy scoffed. "Compared to yours, of course it is. And I plan to keep it that way, so—"

Tepig's seat and the floor around it were already covered in wrappers, old pieces of gum, and other assorted trash items. "So, what?"

Snivy growled in agony. "You know what, just… never mind." He put the key in the ignition. "Now, let's get this over with…" He began to drive forward.

Tepig spoke up as they neared the town limits. "Can I put in a new CD I bought?" He held up a CD from a band called "One Dimension."

"Who buys CDs anymore?" Snivy scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Now everyone just connects their MP3s to something in the car to play albums."

Tepig eyed Snivy's MP3 player. "But… I don't like Arbok Starship."

Snivy flipped the CD out of Tepig's hand and it fell out the car window. "And _I _don't like One Dimension."

Tepig began to wail and sob and Snivy groaned.

"What have I done?" Snivy muttered. "At least the donut place isn't so far away."

Approximately thirty minutes after, Snivy parked in front of Donut Palace and began to climb out of the car.

"Dude, wait!" Tepig called. "This isn't my _favorite _donut place."

Snivy attempted to not throw a temper tantrum and clenched. "But, Tepig… this is the only donut place I _know_."

Tepig shrugged. "Maybe I could give you directions to my favorite place. It's not that far away, man."

"Not too far away meaning…?" Snivy sighed.

"It's not that long a drive, dude." Tepig assured. "On average, about… three hours?"

Snivy sighed deeply and calmly said, "Excuse me a minute." He threw a fit in an alleyway that, without being described in gruesome detail, ended in a Batman suit torn to pieces in the garbage, several newspapers stuck with maple syrup to the wall, and fifteen injuries. He eventually bolted back to Tepig. "Three freaking hours? All for donuts?"

Tepig looked down in dismay. "Well, dude… it's either that or I go back to screaming alone in my room in the middle of the night… and that'd suck."

Snivy caved faster than one would think. "…Fine, then. Just… fine. I'm not ever going to get this time back, anyway. So… who cares? You've wasted enough of my life. Three hours is nothing!"

"Wouldn't it be six hours?" Tepig pointed out. "You know, on the return trip?"

"Don't. Remind me." Snivy ordered. "Now, then… let's get started with the rest of our sleepless night. Good thing I'm already too sexy to need beauty sleep, huh? You, on the other hand…" He left the sentence hanging in the air and started the car back up as Tepig began directing him.

After that exchange, Snivy was forced to drive for hours around the surrounding area, getting farther and farther away from where they both lived.

After two hours and thirty-five minutes, they were speeding at eighty miles per hour in the middle of the countryside. Then, the worst possible thing could happen, did happen.

Snivy confirmed the inevitable. "We're out of gas." He laid his head upon the steering wheel. "W-we're out of g-gas…" He took a deep breath. "Oh, well, then…" He slipped into the backseat and went into a fetal position.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Tepig questioned.

"Getting ready to die." Snivy said unnaturally calmly. "We're stranded here, miles from civilization or any other living thing, so it's time to face it: We're going to die in my car. At least I'm dying in something _I _own." He eyed Tepig judgingly. "Get out and die on the grass, will you?"

"We're going to be fine, man!" Tepig argued. "It's twenty-five more minutes from here to the donut shop."

"Twenty-five by _car_, you idiot!" Snivy shot right back. "It's at least double that on foot!"

"Come on, dude, we can do it." Tepig coaxed optimistically. "I mean, normally, I wouldn't even move, but this is for donuts, you know?"

Snivy looked up and shot Tepig daggers. "I'll carry on _one _condition."

Tepig squealed giddily. "What's that?"

Snivy smirked evilly. "_You _have to carry _me_ there."

Tepig's pupils shrank into his eyes. "B-but… I'm not that strong, man."

"I know." Snivy agreed narcissistically. "But my beautiful body contains no fat. You can carry me a few miles. The donuts can be your reward."

Tepig sighed deeply. "Fiiiiine, I'll carry you there."

Tepig picked Snivy up with ease and slung him over his back. "Here we go." He sighed. He began to trudge along the practically deserted road, his best companion on his back.

Snivy rode in silence and Tepig eventually realized he was asleep. "Dude, you sleeping?" He said to confirm this. The fire-type mammalian pushed Snivy towards him so he was facing him.

Snivy snored in sufficient response and exhaled halitosis into Tepig's nostrils.

Tepig recoiled and coughed to the side. "Dude, ew. I thought only Oshawott's breath smelled that bad."

This failed to wake Snivy up as he continued to snore away.

Tepig gagged and slung Snivy back onto his back to avoid the rancid odor.

After about two hours, Tepig began to see the donut store, literally in the middle of nowhere, and quickly picked up the pace to make the home stretch.

When Tepig finally made it to the tiny shop, a large black sign was posted on the door, red letter reading "Out of Business; Mama always said I should've built this place in the big city."

"Oh, Deino!" Tepig exclaimed, recalling the establishment's keeper. He folded his hands to pay tribute, dropping Snivy in the process.

Snivy was knocked conscious when he hit the ground. He softly stood up. "Dude, what the heck? Are we there, yet?" He noticed the sign on the door and his jaw dropped. He began to stammer uncontrollably. "I-i-i-i-i-i-it's…"

"Whoa, dude." Tepig coaxed. "Don't go all hysterical on me, 'kay?"

Snivy glared at Tepig with furious, bloodshot eyes. "Tepig." He snarled. "You waste hours of my life, traveling to some creepy donut shop in the middle of nowhere, and it's not even open?"

"Dude, it's not like I knew that!" Tepig defended. "I mean, this place was open just the other day!"

"Really?" Snivy shot back. "And the owner said _nothing _to their most loyal customer about this place going down?"

"Well, he started talking about glaze…" Tepig explained. "But he lost me after he used this really big word, 'bankruptcy...' do you know what that means?"

Snivy facepalmed and practically roared in frustration. "I can't freaking believe you, Tepig! You've wasted over half a day of my life, and for what? Nothing; absolutely nothing!"

"Dude, chill." Tepig sighed. He took out his cell phone and began dialing. "I'll call Oshawott to pick us up, 'kay?"

"You had a freaking phone this entire time?" Snivy exclaimed. "Why didn't you call for help after the car broke down?"

"I don't know the number for 911." Tepig confessed.

Snivy groaned. "Who else in the world has to deal with this nonsense? Now the car is stranded somewhere back there—"

Tepig and Snivy looked at each other in alarm. "The car." They whimpered in unison.

The two of them took off sprinting towards the vehicle.

By the time they were within sight of the car, it was sputtering exhaust into their faces as it drove away, an unknown criminal in the driver's seat.

Snivy fell to his knees in agony. "Come back here, you!" He called in vain. "That car is _not _rightfully yours!"

"Snivy, chill." Tepig sighed. "He's gone, man. So is the car."

Snivy's eyes filled with water as he steadily curled up into a ball and began to sob. "Just let me die here, Tepig… just let me die here."

Tepig ever-so-calmly pulled out his cell phone and dialed Oshawott.

Two hours after, Oshawott pulled up to his two best friends, narrowly hitting the brakes before he ran over a weeping Snivy.

"Oh, dude, you're here." Tepig marveled. "You got here quick, man." The fire-type got in the front seat beside Oshawott and hurled Snivy into the backseat. He nearly jumped when noticed a box of donuts with the logo of the restaurant that recently closed stamped on it at Oshawott's feet.

"Dude…" He gasped in awe. "Where'd you get those?"

Oshawott picked up half a donut, finished it off, and let out a satisfied belch. "The guy who owned the place was givin' them away for free. He said something about the place closing down. I swung by there this morning."

"We were trying to get a box of those all day, dude!" Tepig explained. "Say, why didn't we see you on the way there?"

"Did you guys take the shortcut, like I did?" Oshawott questioned.

"There's a shortcut?" Tepig replied dumbly.

Oshawott opened the box as he and Tepig enjoyed the final two treats.

"So." Oshawott said, with his mouth full. "Snivy's going to be pretty pissed when he finds out you wasted his entire day when you could've just stayed home and gotten some donuts from me."

"Yeah…" Tepig sighed. He eyed Snivy slightly. "But he already has a hundred other reasons to be pissed at me, so one more won't hurt."

Oshawott chuckled softly as he drove the car towards the friends' mansion.


	5. Chapter 5

It was getting late at night. Tepig was driving his best friends to a location he wouldn't disclose, insisting it was a "surprise." They were in the midst of a thunderstorm, driving down a dirt—or rather mud—road. The car was soaked in rain, and the windshield was working overtime to get it to where Tepig could actually see two feet in front of him.

Oshawott was asleep in the passenger seat, having been on his phone for three hours of the drive before passing out cold. The sound of the water hitting the car hadn't even stirred him.

Meanwhile, Snivy was sitting wide awake in the backseat, tapping away at whatever little thing on his cell phone. He asked Tepig a pair of questions he'd been asking since before the drive even commenced. "For the last time, Tepig, where are we going and when are we getting there?" He sighed deeply.

"Dude, chill." Tepig soothed. "It's a surprise. I swear to Arceus, it's going to be awesome. It's totally worth the short drive."

"Short drive?!" Snivy repeated. "We've been driving for eight hours straight!" He pulled out his phone to check the time. "It's already past midnight! Are we even close yet?"

"Hold on, dude." Tepig countered. "We should be there in another hour."

Snivy groaned and threw his head back. About twenty minutes after, he finally fell asleep.

Several hours later, he was woken up by the slamming of a car door. Tepig was stepping out of the vehicle.

"Dude…" Snivy moaned sleepily. "What's going on?"

"Don't sweat it, man." He soothed. "We're here."

"Where is 'here' exactly?" Snivy questioned. "Where the heck are we?"

"Dude, don't you recognize it?" Tepig spread his arms wide and motioned to the building in front of him: an old, rundown, small junior high school.

Snivy blinked a couple of times. "…The old junior high we used to go to before moving to Pokeville?" He guessed correctly. "Why are we here?"

"I thought I'd be good to see it again, man." Tepig explained. "Now, help me wake up Oshawott."

Snivy sighed deeply and did as such. He kicked Oshawott in the gut rudely, and the water-type woke up immediately.

Oshawott sat up slowly and rubbed his stomach. "What was that for, Snivy?" He complained. "Ugh, are we here?"

Tepig nodded eagerly. "You bet, man." He stared at the school building for a moment. "I still remember this place like we went here just yesterday. I bet I can give you guys a tour, just to see the old place."

"Is it even still a school?" Oshawott demanded suspiciously. "I feel like it should've been bought out and turned into a fast food place or something by now."

"Fast food joints aren't this big, dude." Tepig pointed out.

"That's not the point." Oshawott sighed in exasperation. "Oh, well. We've driven too far and wasted too much time to just turn back and go home."

Snivy turned to him with an eyebrow raised. "Are you actually saying we should go in?"

Oshawott shrugged. "It's either that or stay outside in the rain and wait for Tepig to come out."

Snivy sighed deeply in response. "Fine, then. Let's get this over with."

And with that, the trio entered the rundown, possibly abandoned junior high.

As soon as the door shut behind them, the pitch-black made it impossible for them to even see two feet in front of them.

"Great." Snivy remarked sarcastically. "What now? We have no idea where the light switch is, or if these old lights still work."

"Dude, it's cool." Tepig assured. "Just do what I always do: feel the wall for the light switch." He then began to run his paws along the wall, with no luck. "Come on, man, it should be around here somewhere…"

Oshawott rolled his eyes—not that anyone could see, of course—and pulled a flashlight out a backpack he'd been carrying. He switched it on, illuminating a small section of the room and momentarily blinding Tepig.

Tepig chortled and faced Snivy. "See, man? It's no big deal. Now, let's start the tour, courtesy of yours truly…"

Oshawott sighed deeply. "Put that on hold for a minute, I have to go to the bathroom." He waddled over to a men's bathroom nearby, flashlight still in hand.

After exiting a stall, he put the flashlight near the sink and began to wash his hands. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror and patted his head. "Ugh, I look as bad as Tepig today…"

Suddenly, something appeared in the mirror that scared him half to death: Another reflection appeared beside him in the mirror: A Gengar, floating to the left of his reflection.

Oshawott yelped, tripped and fell to the floor, and dropped the flashlight, causing the batteries to fall out. He jammed them back inside and stood up, hastily sprinting out of the room. He returned to his best friends, trembling and pale as the ghost he'd just seen.

Snivy quickly took note of this. "Whoa, man." He began sarcastically. "Your skin is lighting up the room more than the flashlight." He snickered.

Oshawott looked Snivy directly in the eyes and shook his head. "Snivy, this isn't funny." He grabbed his and Tepig's wrists and began to drag them towards the door. "We need to get out of here… _now_."

"Whoa, slow down, dude." Tepig replied. "What's happened?"

Oshawott sighed deeply and stared towards the bathroom door. "…I think I just saw Gengar's Ghost." He whispered.

Tepig and Snivy glared at him for a minute… before cracking up and falling to the floor with laughter.

Oshawott scowled and folded his arms. "Oh, come on, you idiots! You were scared of that story, too, when you were in junior high!"

"Yeah." Snivy admitted. "Until a few years later, when I realized it was complete baloney!"

Tepig finally stopped laughing and wiped a tear from his eye. "Oh, man… how did that story go again?"

"I think I can remember." Oshawott responded. He cleared his throat. Lightning struck in the windows behind him, helping create a mood of eeriness. "Once upon a time, a Gengar kid used to go this very school. He wasn't very popular, and was picked on constantly by bullies. One day, the bullies surprised him while he was in that bathroom." He pointed to the door from which he'd just exited. "They teased him and pushed him around, just like they did every day. But they weren't taking just his self-esteem this time; they were taking his life. It wasn't intentional, but one of the bullies pushed him into the sink and it hit him right in the head. They say the blast knocked it clean off! The bullies were panicked. They tried to hide the body; and they managed to. To this day, no one's ever found it. Their troubles were far from over, though. The ghost haunted not only the bathroom, as some versions of the story say, the whole school. Some variations of the story even added a part about a teacher being killed by it."

Like they'd done earlier, Tepig and Snivy glared at Oshawott for a minute before belting out in laughter.

Oshawott grunted in frustration. "Will you guys at least _pretend_ to be scared at least once?"

Snivy managed a sentence between spouts of laughter. "I'm sorry, Oshawott." He chuckled. "It's just that, I'm just not buying it unless you show me some cold hard proof that this story is more than just… well, a story."

Oshawott folded his arms and exhaled deeply. "Fine, then. Don't believe me. But when the ghost kills you halfway through the tour, don't come crying to me." He turned to Tepig. "Go ahead and start your so-called tour."

"It's not too late to run to safety in the car." Snivy taunted to Oshawott. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Oshawott rolled his eyes. "I'm not leaving until you admit that Gengar's Ghost _does _exist… even if it means I'll get killed by it."

"How can a ghost even _touch you_, man?" Tepig pondered. "Like, it can't hurt you if it can't touch you."

"Whatever." Oshawott replied. "Will you just start the tour already?"

Tepig nodded. "Sure, man." He began to lead his friends towards the library, which was located down the hall. "This, dudes… is the library."

Oshawott grinned. "Ah… I have fond memories of this place."

Snivy rolled his eyes. "Of course you do, because you loved to read _so _much."

Oshawott glared at Snivy. "Hey, I read just as much as the next guy!"

"Oh, please." Snivy persisted. "You were just in love with the hot librarian."

Oshawott looked at Snivy with way too much seriousness in his eyes. "Dude, everyone was. We even threw a party for her when she transferred schools!"

Snivy shrugged. "True, although you had the hots for her more than anyone else did."

"Whatever, Snivy." Oshawott sighed, retiring from the argument at that point.

Snivy waddled away triumphantly and approached a door in the back of the room. He opened it and peered inside. "Speaking of that hot librarian, this was her old office.

Oshawott followed the grass-type inside and looked around the room. "It's mostly empty now…" And it was—only a small desk and a tall cabinet against the back wall remained.

Snivy opened one of the drawers in the desk and glanced inside.

"Aw, dude, don't do that!" Oshawott scolded. "It's an invasion of privacy! Not even I would do that, and you know how much of a pervert I am."

"Calm down, man, there's not even anything here." Snivy retaliates. "Except for this mirror…" He takes out said mirror, which is pink and covered in rhinestones, and stares at his reflection in it.

Oshawott rolled his eyes. "Could you go one minute without being so full of yourself?" Immediately after that query, his expression turned serious, realizing that part of the "Gengar's Ghost" story included that most of the ghost's victims were taken when looking into a mirror.

Snivy ignored his friend's comment, and leaned his head so that it was closer to the mirror. "Ugh, this thing is all smudged." He wiped the mirror gently with one of his fingers, and was shell-shocked when the now-clear mirror displayed a more undesirable image; behind him, stood—or rather, floated—none other than Gengar's Ghost. He yelped and dropped the mirror on the floor, causing it to break; glass shards slid across the wooden tiles and stopped just before his feet. Still, the essence of Gengar's Ghost could be seen in the little glass that remained in the mirror. He looked at Oshawott, mouth agape and face white.

Oshawott responded with a face that somehow said "I told you so" and "We have to escape" in one expression.

"There's no time for any 'I told you so' talk." Snivy said, dead seriousness in his voice. "We have to find Tepig and get out of here."

The two glared at one another with distress in their eyes. "Tepig!" They exclaimed, before bolting out of the room, searching for said fire-type.

"I'm sure he's fine…" Oshawott panted, still frantically scouring the library for Tepig. Finally, he and Snivy found him curled up in a corner, against a window. He turned around slowly, directly facing his best friends.

"Oh, Tepig, thank Arceus we—" Oshawott began before realizing that Tepig's eyes were a solid, dark violet—the same color as Gengar's Ghost.

Tepig spoke, and his voice sounded deep and malicious. "Revenge…" He whispered, before lunging himself at Oshawott.

Oshawott dove to his right at just the right time, and Tepig hit the ground, giving him and Snivy just enough time to run screaming out of the library and hide in the room across the hall.

After catching his breath for a minute, Snivy addressed Oshawott and yelled, panicked, "What are we supposed to do?! As annoying and unhygienic as he is, we can't just leave Tepig here for who knows how long, and we wouldn't even be able to take him home in his current state while he's… he's…"

"…Possessed." Oshawott finished, with a sigh. He turned to Snivy. "Snivy… I never thought I'd be saying this, but… we have to perform an exorcism."

Snivy's eyes widened. "Oshawott…"

"Do you have any better solutions?!" Oshawott interrupted, knowing Snivy was going to protest.

Snivy thought it over for a bit. Finally, he decided that Oshawott was right. "…Do you know how to?" He asked finally.

Oshawott nodded. "I, uh, got a bit paranoid during the whole Gengar's Ghost era back in junior high… one Internet search later, and I know how to take a ghost out of a body. I still remember, somehow… I have no idea how, but I'm not questioning the only shred of luck we've had all day." He thought for a second, before giving Snivy directions. "Snivy, I need you to trap Tepig/Gengar's Ghost while I get everything ready. Good? Great." He scurried off, leaving Snivy with the more difficult task of trapping the beast.

Snivy approached the library slowly and peered in through the door's numerous cracks, a result of its old age. Tepig was still inside the room, thrashing about, shrieking unintelligibly in a voice even more hideous than the one he'd used before.

"Just walk in there, Snivy…" He encouraged himself. "Hopefully, the ghost takes you as bait and falls into the trap…" With that, he barged in and jumped in front of the ghost. The desired affect occurred and the ghost tackled Snivy and began to repeatedly punch him in the face.

Oshawott then walked in, carrying several candles. He positioned them around the room and began to chant in what sounded like gibberish. Meanwhile, Snivy continued to take a beating for a little while longer, until, finally, the ghost was forced out of Tepig's body and the school, for that matter.

Tepig's body dropped to the floor, fast asleep.

Just to make sure he hadn't been harmed, Snivy checked his pulse and sighed in relief upon finding one. "He's perfectly fine... which is more than I can say for myself." He had bruises under his eyes and on his forehead, as well as a minor cut near his nostrils.

Oshawott sighed deeply before saying, "Now, let's leave before another catastrophe strikes…" He and Snivy lifted Tepig up and carried him out of the school, while rain continued to pour outside.

The two shoved Tepig into the backseat and sat up front, Oshawott taking the wheel.

"You know the way back?" Snivy questioned.

Oshawott shook his head, but eyed a map Tepig had left on the floor. "No, but I can read a map."

"Oshawott?" Snivy asked.

"Yeah?"

"For future reference…" Snivy asserted, "this never happened."

Oshawott nodded in agreement. "What never happened?"


	6. Chapter 6

It was a crisp, cool afternoon in Pokeville, and Oshawott was taking down the last of the Christmas decorations after the holiday. As the water-type was standing on the roof, ladder nearby, tearing lights off the windows, Snivy and Tepig stood on the ground, wearing winter coats and yelling orders at him.

"Make sure you get the other side of the house, too!" Snivy called to his friend as he untangled a clump of LED lights. "I think we put a plastic snowman there or something."

Oshawott grumbled to himself and cursed. "You guys feel like helping me any time soon?"

Tepig sipped from a bottle of juice he was holding and shrugged. "I don't know, man, I think you got it," he replied, unknowingly being a wise guy.

Oshawott groaned and began to climb down the ladder, before slipping and falling several feet to the snow-covered ground. He moaned upon impact and had his abdomen smashed in when the ladder fell onto it.

Snivy snickered sadistically at Oshawott's misfortune while Tepig went over to help him up.

"Be careful, dude." Tepig said as he shoved the orange ladder off of the otter-like creature. "You got to be in good shape for the New Year's party tonight."

Oshawott suddenly perked up at the idea of said party. "Oh, yeah… ah, that's going to be good."

Snivy gagged. "Ew, you guys actually go to those? It's just single people wandering around aimlessly while trying to find someone to kiss at midnight." He shifted his gaze to Oshawott. "I'm guessing _Lilligant's_ going to be at this party?"

Oshawott looked away and muttered, "What other reason is there for going to a New Year's party?"

Snivy then turned to Tepig. "Why are _you_ going?"

"The food, man." Tepig responded. "That Ivysaur family uptown is hosting. I've heard they have the best burgers in the whole region…"

Snivy's eyes widened as his right eyebrow rose slowly. "The Ivysaurs? Aren't they, like, the richest family in town? How'd you guys get invited to their party?"

Oshawott chuckled. "They're Lilligant's cousins, for your information; they allowed her to bring a couple of guests and she chose us."

"Good luck not getting yourselves kicked out before midnight." Snivy remarked. "They're classy as heck, and you two aren't exactly radiating etiquette."

Tepig slurped on his juice and burped. "What do you mean, dude?"

"I rest my case." Snivy chortled.

That night, Oshawott and Tepig got ready to make their way to the party while Snivy lay on the couch leisurely.

As the two approached the front door, Oshawott called back to Snivy, "Are you sure you don't want to go?"

Snivy shook his head and yawned. "Someone like I is above New Year's parties. You know I like to spend my New Year's Eves watching movies you're not smart enough to understand."

Oshawott simply rolled his eyes at him and followed Tepig to his car, which was parked on the driveway outside.

As Oshawott sat down into the driver's seat, Tepig rubbed his paws together and began to salivate. "Oh my Arceus, dude… can you even imagine what kind of food they have there? It's going to be so good…"

Oshawott faked a grin and set the gear shift to drive. "About that, Tepig…" He began to drive towards the location of the party. "Um… could you possibly try to behave yourself while we're there?"

"What do you mean, man?" Tepig inquired.

"Look, um…" Oshawott murmured. "These people are, in a word, classy. I don't think there's going to be very much activity at the 'party' until everyone gets intoxicated."

"Do I have to behave myself when everyone's intoxicated?" Tepig sighed.

Oshawott appeared to think it over for a second, before deciding, "Sure, why not? No one will remember whatever you do tomorrow, anyway."

Tepig smiled and said, "Sweet."

Oshawott bit his lip and frowned nervously as they drove up to the house.

The pair parked the car on the road, as the house's driveway, although large, had already been filled to the brim with other people's vehicles.

"Holy stuff." Oshawott muttered. "I guess the hosts are inviting just their closest friends, eh?"

He and Tepig and got out of the car and knocked on the door.

A plump Ivysaur wearing a pearl necklace opened the door and sized Oshawott and Tepig up. "Um… do I know you people?"

Oshawott blushed in embarrassment and explained, "You see, ma'am, we're guests of Lilligant."

"Who?" She replied.

"…Your cousin?" Oshawott reminded her.

The Ivysaur pursed her lips and thought for a bit before gasping. "Oh, yes, Lilligant! Now, which one of you wants to kiss her at—"

She was interrupted by Lilligant herself, who had silently approached her and was standing beside her in the doorway. "That's enough, cousin Ivysaur." She mumbled nervously. She turned to Oshawott and Tepig and encouraged, "Come in, guys, make yourselves at home." She motioned to the house.

Oshawott and Tepig strolled in to find themselves looking at a giant living room covered with so many tables of food that it was difficult to see the floor. Many of the guests were simply standing around socializing and holding a glass or plate. Hardly any activity was occurring.

Tepig squealed with excitement and scurried over to the nearest table, which was filled with a variety of desserts. He then proceeded to stuff his face with a chocolate cake that was sitting nearby.

Lilligant rolled her eyes at him, but giggled. She scanned the room before turning to Oshawott. "I'll be honest here, there's not really much to do at one of the parties; why don't we go upstairs and—"

The Ivysaur who had answered Oshawott and Tepig at the door went up to them and interrupted her. "Lilligant, would you be a dear and get some more from punch from the kitchen? We're already out!"

Lilligant nodded and sighed deeply. "I'll be right back, Oshawott." She muttered at him and went to fetch the refreshment from the kitchen.

Oshawott waited until she was out of earshot to whisper to himself, "Okay, now all I have to do is not screw this up before midnight…" He took a seat at one of the tables and attempted to rest his feet on the chair across from his, accidentally kicking another Ivysaur.

He panicked momentarily and placed his feet back on the floor. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." He apologized.

The Ivysaur blushed and giggled. It was evident that she was no older than eighteen; much too young for Oshawott. "No problem. Say, what's your name?"

"Um, it's Oshawott…" He replied. "And yours?"

"I'm Ivysaur, just like my mom." She pointed at the Ivysaur who had been at the door. "You can just call me Ivysaur Jr." She set her hand onto Oshawott's. "You know, Mr. Oshawott, you're pretty cute."

"Oh, thank you, I—"He suddenly paused, as if realizing what she was getting at. Rather than explain why they shouldn't be together, he simply mumbled, "Um, I have to go do the thing, bye." He was about to get up and sprint towards the door, when Ivysaur Jr. tugged on his wrist and kept him in his seat.

She gritted her teeth and passed Oshawott a glass of what looked like water. "You seem tense. Why don't you have something to drink?"

"No, thank you, I'm not thirsty." Oshawott refused.

"No, really, this _water's _really good." The Ivysaur insisted.

Oshawott chuckled bitterly and unwillingly took a sip and immediately experienced a very sour taste in his mouth. "W-what…" He abruptly fainted and slipped out of his chair and onto the floor.

Ivysaur Jr. beamed sadistically and picked up Oshawott's unconscious body. She dragged him upstairs, muttering to herself about what she's got in store for the poor water-type.

Just after she finished ascending the stairs, Lilligant emerged from the kitchen and stared blankly at the spot where she supposed Oshawott was. "…Did one of my best friends ever just ditch me?" She wondered aloud.

Roughly two hours after he was initially knocked out by the mysterious liquid, Oshawott woke up and found himself alone in a small bedroom. His limbs were tied together with rope and he was lying on the floor in the middle of the room. He looked over his surroundings and noticed several posters of sub-par pop stars plastered onto the walls. Oh my gosh, he thought. This must be that Ivysaur girl's room!

He then spotted a knife sitting on a dresser near the door. He struggled and flopped towards it, having his limbs tied, and repeatedly threw himself against it until the knife was on the floor and within reach. He then wriggled over to it and picked up using his mouth. He then swung the blade blindly before finally cutting his arms free of the ropes and taking the knife into his right hand to cut his legs out.

He stood up and looked around him frantically, looking for any kind of escape. He soon scurried over to a window on one of the walls and opened it up. Upon looking out of it, however, he realized that leaping out of it would mean a twenty-foot drop. His expression became panicked as he began to open drawers and raid the closet, searching for anything that could help him escape. Finally, he found his cell phone, which Ivysaur Jr. had hid in her nightstand. Once it was returned to his possession, he used it to quickly dial Snivy.

Back at the mansion, Snivy was still lying on the couch, watching television. He was nearly asleep, when he heard his cell phone ring. With a groan, he picked it up off the floor and put it to his ear.

"Snivy, oh I'm so glad you picked up!" Oshawott shouted over the phone.

"I'm not." Snivy grumbled in response.

"Save the witty replies for later!" Oshawott ordered. "This is an emergency! I've been kidnapped by the Ivysaurs' teenage daughter and am being held hostage in her bedroom!"

Snivy scoffed. "Oshawott, you can just tell me if you want to go home and I'll reluctantly come and get you. You don't have to make up some fake story."

Oshawott snarled. "But it's true!"

Snivy paused for a bit before saying, "You know what? This was a waste of my time; I'm going to hang up now." His finger reached for the "end call" button, but Oshawott stopped him just in time.

"No, don't!" Oshawott shouted. "Look, just… just come pick me up ASAP, okay?"

Snivy groaned but murmured, "Fine," and hung up.

Oshawott sighed in relief as he put the phone away, but his panic returned when he heard footsteps coming from the hallway.

"Oh, Oshawott…" He could hear from outside. "I hope you're ready to play…"

Oshawott shrieked cowardly and rushed into the hall, bumping into his captor and sprinting towards the stairs.

"Hey!" Ivysaur Jr. called. "How'd you get yourself free?!" She grunted and began to pursue him as he ran down the stairs and into the living room, where the party was still being held.

Oshawott shoved his way through crowds of people on his way to the front door, but near to no one noticed as midnight was approaching and the vast majority of guests were already intoxicated.

Ivysaur Jr. lost him almost immediately after entering the living room, and had a harder time making her way past the immense crowds of people; she found herself several yards behind Oshawott.

As Oshawott approached the door, Lilligant, who was still standing around wondering where her friend had gone, noticed him. "Hey, where do you think you're going?!" She screamed and chased after him, like Ivysaur Jr. was.

Oshawott emerged from the house and, upon seeing Snivy waiting for him in his car ran towards him and leaped into the passenger's seat.

Lilligant, still in hot pursuit of the water-type, slipped into the seat with him, not knowing what was going on.

Snivy, who was in the driver's seat, turned around to see the two sitting together in the passenger's seat. "What, are you finally getting to take Lilligant home?" He joked.

"Just drive!" Oshawott ordered. "She can't be too far behind!"

"Who can't be too far behind?" Snivy questioned.

As if on cue, Ivysaur Jr. burst out of the house and growled loudly, "Oshawott!"

Snivy whimpered and slammed the acceleration pedal, causing the car to jerk forward. He maneuvered his way through a maze of parked cars belonging to the party's guests before starting on his way back to the mansion.

"Who is that?!" Snivy and Lilligant hollered in unison.

"The Ivysaur family's teenage daughter, I think!" Oshawott cried. He turned to Lilligant and asked, "You've never seen her before?"

Lilligant shook her head. "I think I've heard her parents mention her a few times, though." She explained. "They always talk about a daughter with an unhealthy obsession with terrible bubblegum pop singers. Once, a psychologist came to their house and went upstairs; I think she was looking for her."

Snivy looked in the rear view mirror to see Ivysaur Jr. getting into one of the parked cars and beginning to drive after them.

"Oh my gosh, that maniac is following us!" Snivy blurted out. He approached a right turn and continued to go straight ahead, despite the fact that the turn would've taken them home.

"Dude, you missed the turn!" Oshawott pointed out. "Our mansion was back there!"

"What, do you want me to give away where you live, idiot?!" Snivy shouted back. "We have to lose her, _then _we can go back home!"

"Why were you even with her in the first place?!" Lilligant demanded. "Why'd you ditch me, man?! I thought you were better than that."

Oshawott blushed. "She kidnapped me!"

"Oh, _that's_ the story you're going to stick to?!" Lilligant scoffed.

Snivy swerved to the side to avoid a car heading the opposite direction. "Can you guys possibly do this later?!"

Oshawott ignored him and continued his bickering with Lilligant. "She spiked my drink and knocked me out with it! It's not like I _wanted_ to go with her!"

"You're telling me a teenage girl poisoned and kidnapped you?!" Lilligant argued back. "Maybe she's not the only crazy one!"

Snivy ran a red stoplight and shrieked. "Will you guys just help me somehow?! What if there had been a cop car there?!"

The pair continued to ignore him and fight. "Exactly, she's insane!" Oshawott reminded. "You said so yourself! That's why she took me hostage!"

Lilligant groaned. "Fine, then, I guess I'll just have to believe you, considering the fact that you're not giving me a better story any time soon!"

Snivy approached a bridge which hadn't been lowered. He glanced behind him to see if the Ivysaur was still in pursuit, which she was. He turned back to the bridge and called to Oshawott and Lilligant, "We're jumping."

"What?!" The couple shrieked in unison.

Snivy gritted his teeth and drove the vehicle off the first half of the bridge. After a few mere seconds in midair, the car landed on the other side without so much as a scratch.

Ivysaur Jr., on the other hand, was unable to make the jump and crashed into river below.

Snivy, Oshawott, and Lilligant all saw this crash and collectively sighed in relief, as the former began to drive towards his mansion of a home.

When they did get home, the three settled down in the mansion's living room and continued to watch the movie Snivy had been watching.

Oshawott and Lilligant had spent the much of the ride to the mansion fighting about the events at the party, though the conflict had simmered down by then.

"I'm just saying, if you knew she was weird from the moment you met her, why'd you take the 'water?'" Lilligant asked.

Oshawott shrugged. "I tried to refuse, but she looked as if she would've blown a fuse if I hadn't drank it."

"I think she's already blown quite a few fuses." Lilligant joked.

"Will you guys just give it up, already?" Snivy sighed. "We're home and safe now, that's all that matters." He checked a clock that was hung up on the wall. "Oh, and by the way, if you two still want your New Year's Kiss, that's coming up in two minutes. I'll give you some privacy." He rolled his eyes, scoffed, and went upstairs to his room.

Oshawott turned to Lilligant and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Um, sorry for nearly getting you killed tonight."

"When did that happen?" Lilligant chuckled.

"When we went over that bridge…" Oshawott muttered.

"Huh, I would've never noticed if you hadn't pointed it out just now." Lilligant explained. "Maybe that wasn't the best idea."

"Hey, I've had worse tonight." Oshawott observed.

The pair glanced at the clock, which was a couple of ticks away from twelve.

"I think it's safe to say that neither of us will forget tonight." Lilligant giggled.

And with that, she and Oshawott shared their first-ever kiss at midnight, which took the latter by surprise.

"What does this mean for our… relationship?" He pondered. "Does it mean we officially have one?"

"I really have no idea." Lilligant replied. "And to be honest, I think it's better that way."

The next morning, Snivy found her and Oshawott lying together on the couch asleep, staring at a television that was droning cartoons for young children.

Snivy cringed at the sight. "Woah, cool it down there, lovebirds." He deadpanned.

This woke the pair up and caused them to blush deeply. Suddenly, Oshawott's eyes widened and he seemed to panic. "Um, guys… where's Tepig?"

Meanwhile, Tepig was waking up on a table at the Ivysaurs' house with a bloated belly, having cleared all the food from not only the tables, but also the refrigerator. "Ah, man… I have no idea where I am or how the heck I'm going to get home."


End file.
